I recently had an epiphany.

As someone who constantly talks to herself in her own head (and even aloud, I must admit), I often revel in bubbles of miniature realizations that morph into more substantial revelations. I can often push them to the side, away from the public eye. This time, however, it’s different. I can’t lock them up for safekeeping or a rainy day because they concern my more public persona. I can’t discard or compartmentalize them because they don’t have anything to do with overarching organizations or my target publics.

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Lately, I have been struggling with knowing what to write. It’s not writer’s block but just a sense of “who cares?” That question rose to the surface of my notes and mind as I prepared my notes for my second week of teaching university juniors and seniors about public relations planning.

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“A plane just crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City.” Our unbelieving whispers turned into larger conversations as one of my eighth-grade teachers turned on the TV in the classroom. It wasn’t just hearsay, something middle schoolers sometimes say for shock value. It was real. We watched all of it unfold, from the second plane hitting the …

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I sat at the table in the hotel’s meeting space, clicking my heels out of nervousness – much like I did when I was a little girl and pretended I was Dorothy Gale from Kansas. This time, however, I combated the childhood giddiness with the mask of public-relations professionalism, as I was accustomed to doing. As I walked to the makeshift “center stage” at a meeting of seasoned public relations pros, I stood with my student colleague and others as we accepted the Public Relations Society of America - East Central Distric

t Diamond Award for the Helping Hungry Hearts Community Relations campaign. 

It was 2011, and my career had just begun. 

This was my first-ever PR campaign but wasn’t my first touchpoint with PRSA, as I had been part of campaigns with PRSSA during my undergraduate tenure. We did the standard bake sales and campus-wide campaigns. This award, though, signified something greater – it was the first time I interacted with anything related to PRSA East Central District. I remember gathering all of the data and writing the award entry. The stress but allure of framing our work in a succinct but impactful way. The thrill of reading the “congratulations, you’ve won” email. From that moment on, I knew I wanted to work with ECD in some capacity.

Fast forward to 2023, and I type this with the title of “PRSA ECD Chair.” A brisk breeze chills the air, with winter poised to make its grand entrance in less than a month. While the light of my tenure begins to fade, I find myself in a sense of reflection. Gone are the naive rookie days, and in their place is a more realistic, reflective, and accredited version of myself. 

Leadership within the PRSA network has been a transformative experience, one that I will continue to treasure throughout my career. As someone who has been a PRSA Chapter and District leader since 2015, I wanted to delve into the top eight lessons I’ve learned as a PRSA leader in my eight-year tenure. Some have been filled with illustrious successes, some coated with the bittersweet tinge of heartbreak and failure. All have immense value and have shaped who I am as a public relations practitioner, leader, and human.

Deactivating a Chapter ignites the five stages of grief. 

In 2015, a small group of public relations practitioners started a new PRSA Chapter: River Cities. It served 17 counties in West Virginia, Ohio, and Kentucky, with a home base in Ashland, Kentucky. We founded the Chapter to the hail of the typical excited fanfare, but we never recovered from a sophomore slump. Originally, this Chapter aimed to reach PR pros in both metropolitan and rural areas so they wouldn’t have to travel hours to a larger city for PRSA programming and networking. What we discovered was that it still was a long commute for many of our members, as 17 counties are a lofty service area for a Chapter of less than 20 members. We also dealt with small-town politics, time constraints, limited resources, and other challenges facing our Chapters. In December 2020, right before the Christmas holiday, the River Cities board at the time decided to deactivate. 

As Past President of the Chapter, and as someone who collaborated with my colleagues to found and build the Chapter, I felt a sense of grief, especially as I helped to navigate next steps and relationships.

It looked like these irrational thoughts, with the exception of the last point: 

• Denial: Is River Cities really doing that badly, or can it be salvaged? (A fair question, but if you ruminate about it constantly, like I did, that could be a sign of denial.)

• Anger: Why didn’t anyone show up for events or show interest in what we were doing? Why didn’t anyone want to step into volunteer roles? Why do I feel like I am doing everything myself and no one else is interested?

• Bargaining: If I would have stayed on as President or would have tried harder, then it could have been a thriving Chapter.

• Depression: I don’t think I was an effective enough leader, and I should have done things differently.

• Acceptance: The members are thriving in other Chapters, and sometimes, you have to let go of something that isn’t indeed working. It’s OK to be part of a deactivated Chapter. We tried it, and it didn’t work.

Do a few things, and do them well.

In “Parks and Recreation,” Ron Swanson states, “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” All of us are attracted to the shiniest new tool, goal, or process, but it may not be in our best interest to follow each path. During my time as ECD Chair, I have wanted to do so many things, and of course, as an overachiever, I could list what I wish I could have accomplished for days. While I know we have upheld our mission and carried out our 2020-2023 Strategic Plan, I have an internal laundry list of things I “should” have done. The best thing to do is to release those unrelenting high standards with a deep exhale – back into the void of my anxious mind where they will not see the light of day or a fired brain synapse. This comes with wisdom in its myriad forms: age, experience, environment, and all of the ways in which we are influenced. I cannot be in two places at once, and until we can commonly (and cheaply) clone ourselves, I have realized that I need to focus on what is important. 

For me – and it’s a very individualized experience – I ask myself if what I am doing pertains to my life’s mission, which is “to live what I love despite fear.” I also ask myself pointed questions, like if a task relates to a bigger-picture goal, how much time it will reasonably take, and if it will take away from my life or make me unsafely anxious. As a working mom, too, I ask myself, “Will this take away from precious moments with my son? And if so, will it be worth it?” We can ask ourselves these pointed questions as we look through our strategic plans, bylaws, policies and procedures, and other evaluation tools.

It can be lonely at the (ethical) top.

During my eight years of PRSA leadership, I have been disappointed by more than one person and process. This is a normal flow of events, but it can be especially disheartening when it occurs with someone you consider a mentor. They say to never “meet your heroes,” but sometimes, working with your mentors can invoke the same feelings. (I’ve also had a plethora of times in which that has been the opposite.) I’ve been genuinely shocked at some ethical decisions from others, but I’ve learned to also stay in my lane – unless I have to advocate for a Chapter, the District, or the PR profession as a whole. While it can be challenging to do what you consider to be the right thing, it’s worth it to have your integrity and adhere to the PRSA Code of Ethics. I grew up watching my dad maintain his ethics in business, even when it was exceedingly challenging to do so. His example and my own experiences have worn off on me in my career and life. Be aware that some of your decisions can cause conflict and could even burn unintentional bridges. If you can ask yourself if you can sleep at night and say “yes,” then you likely have made the right decision – no matter who disagrees with your decision. And even if people you cared about and once worked closely with block you on social media.

Don’t be afraid of conflict. 

I will admit that my natural habitat lies between wanting everyone to sing “kumbaya” or just wanting to completely run away from a situation. Over time, and as my leadership style has matured, I have learned to lean into the parts that make me feel uncomfortable and downright nauseous. It’s natural to want to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn, but we do a disservice to ourselves and our colleagues when we don’t address pressing issues. This could look like discontinuing a service from a vendor, asking a board member why a vital deadline was not met, coming to terms with an event that no longer works, or just taking on the fiscal responsibility of a Chapter or District in general. I wish I had a roadmap to share with you, but yes, I still struggle with this. I’m a PR pro who is a people pleaser and emotional sponge, so it takes a lot out of me to handle an emotionally charged situation with a level head. And, of course, I fail – just like we all do. As Yoda said, “The greatest teacher, failure is.” Handle the situation with as much grace, firmness, and patience as you can muster. Then, do something to decompress. For me, that looks like doing something that requires as little brain power as possible or sleeping. Sleep is always a good idea.

Be as relational as possible with your board members.

At the end of the day, we are all volunteers with day jobs and personal lives. Sometimes, we won’t have time to accomplish a goal. Things won’t go according to plan, but sometimes, they will exceed expectations. Lead with your logical North Star but never squash your intuition and heart. Be a combination of both logic and emotion, and learn when to turn those on in various situations. Authenticity is key to any leadership style, but especially when you are leading a group of communicators who also have similar values. 

In 2023, PRSA ECD re-established our Chapter liaisons, which worked out well as we continued to cultivate relationships in our post-COVID landscape. We also invite Chapter leaders to our board meetings and offer opportunities to speak at Chapter Roundtables and Leadership Forums. We offer our QuickStart Leadership Conference, Chair Coffee Chats, and other opportunities for resources, connection, and lifelong learning. I also did as much one-on-one outreach as I could throughout 2023. I always have had an open-door policy where board members, Chapter leaders, and members can feel comfortable coming to me with a pressing issue or success. Establish rapport individually and cater your leadership style to a colleague’s needs and strengths. It’s not a one-size-fits-all approach, and I haven’t always gotten it right. However, I have kept moving and learning.

We must cultivate the next generation.

It’s not enough to just share a physical or virtual space with our up-and-coming PR practitioners. We should take time to have actual conversations with them and learn more about their own skill sets and aspirations. Often, we want to tick a box. Does our Chapter or District work with PRSSA Chapters in some capacity? Check. Do we reach out to them periodically? Check. Do we have meetings with everyone in every generation at the table and really have moments of connection and true collaboration? Well… that is situational. Of course, we are all pressed for precious time. While this is a volunteer role, we do have a leadership responsibility to provide some level of mentorship to rising stars and leaders in our association and profession. (While also keeping in mind my aforementioned points.) While this is something that we have not focused on at the District level as much in recent years, it’s admittedly something I wish we could have done – especially during my tenure as Chair. My hope is PRSA ECD continues to build on this concept and instill value for our members – no matter the stage of their career. 

Still maintain your personal life!

I’m relatively open about the fact that I have anxiety and depression. I’ve written op-eds about it, host a mental-health-related podcast, and advocate for mental health and wellness with every change I get. I have also been known to be a workaholic, which is the downside of ambition and is one of the truest forms of monomania as a case study. While work-life balance is a buzzword that we either try to live by or roll our eyes at, it is essential that you find your own sense of equilibrium, no matter what that looks like. I prefer to use the term “integration” versus balance. I feel my best when I am able to complete a few hours of focused work, spend time with my husband and son, do yoga, engage in something creative, write for fun and not for work. 

According to Abram Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, we can aim for self-actualization and transcendence through meeting the following needs: physiological, security and safety, social, and esteem. There were times in my younger professional and personal days in which I didn’t meet my basic food and water needs. I always told myself, “I’ll eat when I finish this task. I’ll drink water after my fourth cup of coffee.” Needless to say, these unhealthy thoughts didn’t help me. Our jobs and leadership within PRSA require a lot of expertise, mental fortitude, and psychology – in addition to a wealth of other components. We have to step away in order to recharge and be at our best when we need to make quick decisions, deal with a conflict, or work on a project that requires more concentration. I learned this to its utmost degree when I was pregnant in 2020 during a global pandemic, running a company, and serving as PRSA ECD’s Secretary and Communications Chair. Nothing forces you to change course quite like throwing a child into the mix or dealing with your own personal challenges. Be sure to take time for you to attempt to stave away burnout and other mental health issues.

Know you are enough.

I say this because I still need to hear it, too: you are enough. No matter where you are in your professional or personal life, most of us have to deal with imposter syndrome. This especially happens when we’re in a new situation, completely out of our element and struggling to balance on the tightrope of expectation versus our own reality. Even now, thoughts of self-doubt can lodge their way into my brain and an otherwise perfect day. I compare myself to another leader and think, “I wish I could be like that.” I encourage you to not push away that thought but ask yourself a follow-up question, “What do I like about this leader that I would want to cultivate in myself?” Then, work on that in your own leadership practice!

You are truly like no one else. You could have similarities, but use your differences to really stand out and carve out a leadership space. I look back on my early PRSA leadership days with such empathy. I wanted to prove myself to others, to really let them know that I was good at what I do and seek reassurance. I took on too much responsibility and ran myself ragged. I lacked boundaries and allowed others to take advantage of my propensity to want to do a good job. As I have gotten older (and hopefully wiser), I know that true reassurance comes from within. It’s great to hear that I am doing a wonderful job or that something I was part of ended up being a grand success. But, it’s also great to sit in the silence of my reflections and know that I am indeed enough – and beyond. And you are, too.

All of this personal development happened because of one Diamond Award 12 years ago, and my collection of other experiences. As they say, Diamonds – and my love for East Central District – are forever. I will always value PRSA and these leadership lessons. They’ve made me who I am and who I will always be. You cannot pay for an experience like this. You just have to go with the flow of the journey. 

What’s next, you ask? Time will tell past my Immediate Past Chair role in 2024, but one thing is certain – I wouldn’t change a thing about my time in PRSA. I am who I am because of it.

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